Week 19-August 25th-31st-Hi Baby, I have missed three weeks of blogging, but oh my, have they been an overwhelming three weeks!!! You are now four months and three weeks old, weigh 13.6 pounds and are 25.5 inches long. You are a different child than you were when last I wrote.
I suppose I will begin from where I left off and continue from there.

You were given so many blood tests to see what was going on in your little body. The pediatrician, an infectious desease specialist and an ears, nose and throat doctor were all trying to figure out this mystery. Someone thought your lymph node was infected, the ENT doctor, thought it was your salvary gland. You were tested for mumps, cat scratch fever and staff. Everytime you wake up from sleep you cry and cry and cry. Usually, you wake up smiling.

So it turns out that the infection that you had was in your lymph node and began to spread up the right side of your face and had turned into an abscess, which needed to be drained. Before we could get that done, you needed to get a CAT-Scan to see exactly where the infection was. On Tuesday, August 17, Papa and I checked you into Cedar-Sinai Medical Center and the next day you had to have surgery to drain the abscess. They put a tube down your throat and put you to sleep. The surgery took about 30 minutes and it was about an hour before we had you back in our arms. We had never been so scared and upset in our lives. When I handed you to the anesthesiologist, he carried you upright facing behind him. You cried and cried the whole way down the hall and I couldn't get you back. I stared helplessly. My father had to guide me away from your cries and into the waiting room. When we got you back, you were still asleep from the anesthesia but when you began to wake your cries were soft and hoarse from the tube. It was very sad, but the surgery was a success. Dr. Bellack, the otolaryngologist, took out 10 cc's of pus. That is about 2 teaspoons full. It is a lot considering how little you are. You have a little scar behind your right ear which should fade away by the time you are one year old.

We were in the hospital for six days, five nights. All the residents and nurses loved you. I think for the most part, you were the littlest patient in the pediatric wing. I stayed with you the entire time, Papa came every morning and evening to see you. You are still taking antibiotics and we have been home for a week and a half. This is crazy, it is just taking a long time for you to heal although the swelling in your face in gone and you only have a smallish purple bump on the right side of your neck. You feel a lot better and do not wake up crying anymore. When we went back to Dr. Bellack for a follow-up, pus had started to reaccumulate and so he put a needle into your neck and drained about 2 cc's worth of pus. I think he is a good doctor and a good man, but I believe that he is desensitized to pain, because it hurts you, a lot, and he is not the most gentle man. You put your faith and trust into doctors and think that what they do is in your best interest, so I do not think to question him, but afterwards, I think he could have given you a numbing agent to make it less tramatic.

During our second follow up with him, a few days later, he asked me if I wanted to drain it again and I told him not if it wasn't necessary and it wasn't. So the way we left it was another week of medicine and lets see how it goes. I am diligient about giving you your meds exactly on time, never a missed dose, but it is crazy, you have been taking meds for about five weeks now. At least you are only on one type of medicine now, instead of two, because they did finally figure out that the bacteria you are carrying is staff, which is everywhere, but you apparently were succeptable to it because your little body was so busy fighting off cold germs that you couldn't fight off the staff also. Your body did manage to sequester the bacteria in your lymph node rather than have it spread all throughout your body and that is a very good thing. I guess that although you were very sick, had that happened, you would have been much more sick.

During this entire time lots of amazing developmental leaps and bounds were reached. On Friday, August 13th you weighed 12.8 pounds. You have started to laugh, despite feeling lousy. When Papa and I are close to you, you hold our faces with both your little hands. It is very sweet. You are reaching more for your toys and your aim is getting better. You love love love your rattle and hold it and shake it. You chew on Sophie the Giraffe and make her squeak; not too long ago you would just look at her. We would put her in your hand and she would fall right out. You also love your seahorse. We play its music anytime you have a dipe change and you just smile and your eyes sparkle. When Papa or I sing to you, you sing right along with us. It is awesome! You are growing by leaps and bounds. I never knew someone could change so quickly. Everyday you are doing something new. I have pages and pages of notes I jotted down, so I wouldn't forget to put anything in this blog, but I am going to continue it tomorrow. I love you, my baby, and I am so relieved that you are finally getting better and growing stronger. As a result of all of this, I don't let anyone touch you without them washing their hands first and only family, no one else can touch you. Papa and I love you more than anything! You are our dream!

Week 16-August 4th-August 10th-FOUR MONTHS! It is absolutely unbelievable how time flies. Papa and I went to a wedding this past Saturday with you in tow, and we saw a two month old and a six week old baby. I remember you were teeny tiny, but now I cannot picture it, especially when I saw you next to these little ones. You are long, lean and completely filled out, super alert with tons of expressions to convey your thoughts and feelings. You slept through most of the reception, we were shocked. You usually don't sleep through commotion well at all. We have a friend, Patrick, whose wife is about four months pregnant. Patrick could not stop looking at you. He just wanted to play but you were asleep. He held your hand and told us how beautiful you are! He cannot wait for his own little one to arrive!

Do you remember when I wrote that you were feeling ill when we went to Capistrano Beach? Every time someone picked you up, you cried. I thought that maybe your ribcage hurt from us lifting you so much. Papa thought that your shoulders may have popped out of their sockets. We couldn't figure out what was going on. Turns out that it was your neck that was bothering you. Last Thursday I noticed that the right side of your face was a little rounder than the left side, but thought nothing of it. Friday morning we woke up and your lymph node on the right side of your neck was huge! Completely swollen. We rushed you to the doctor where he promptly weighed you, 12.6 pounds, and he ordered some blood tests so we had to take you to the lab and the lady there felt for a vein in your arms, just like an adult gets blood taken. You cried, but were very brave and then we went home. Turns out you have an infection. Nobody knows how you got it, but it is bacterial (we didn't find this out until Monday) and Papa and I are pumping you full of antibiotics. We thought you were going to have to be hospitalized and have the node surgically drained, but we went to an ear, nose and throat specialist and he gave us about a weeks more time to see if the swelling will go down on its own. We were scared it was going to be something much worse, but we were told that this isn't serious and not to worry.

Papa and I are having some problems, so we went to go talk to someone about them, but we couldn't take you because it was your bedtime, so Grandma Mondi came to stay with you. This was the first time we left you. Of course, you woke up as soon as we left, but you were asleep when we came home tonight. I used Aunt Yael's pump to express some milk for you. I prepared a bottle, but had heard stories about babies going on hunger strikes because they didn't like the bottle. I was fully expecting to hear that you cried and fussed the entire time we were gone (about an hour and a half). You took the bottle. First time, no problem! No whining, no crying. So much for my concerns. So this means, papa and I are going out on a date for our first anniversary, and you get to hang with Grandma Mondi!!! As much as I am opposed to putting artificial anything into you, you have gotten a lot with all of the tummy medicine, pacifier tries and now antibiotics, that a bottle wasn't too tramatic for me, although in my ideal world you would never have one.

You have started to make little grunting noises when you want our attention. It is adorable!

People stop us wherever we might be to tell us how beautiful you are. I am not exaggerating. People stop us all the time to say something. You are special, even total strangers can feel it. I love you little girl and so does your Papa!

Week 15-July 28-August 3-This past week we went to my cousin, Sonila's baby shower and Capistrano Beach for a week's vacation with my parents, siblings, your cousins and your Atlanta grandparents. It was so cold and cloudy, you didn't even wear your swim suit that I bought for you. We have no pictures of you in the sand, because it was too cold to sit you in it, for even a moment! Ah, well, next time. In the middle of the week, Wednesday and Thursday, you didn't feel well. There was no temperature, but your head was hot, hot, hot and you nursed for about 48 hours straight. When you weren't nursing, you either cried or slept. We were worried about you, but whatever it was that was bothering you, passed. Your little nose was running! So sad. This morning, you put yourself to sleep. It is a rare occurrence! You and I have been on the move lately. After we came back from Capistrano, we went to a barbque and the next day to Ellis' fifth birthday party. You have missed naps and so are quite fussy. I told your father that this was it. You absolutely cannot miss your naps, it throws you off and then me too! I did meet with a new pediatrician this week. (Your second round of vaccinations is coming up in a few weeks, UGH!) She answered all of my questions and seems accepting of attachment parenting, which is important to me. I did ask her about all of the fussiness lately and that I thought you were a very sensitive child and she said that it is perfectly normal and healthy for a baby to behave this way and that I should try to keep you on a steady schedule. This was reassuring to me, because the last thing I want to do is damage you emotionally by not meeting your needs. Anyway baby, I hope I am doing alright by you, time will tell, but I do love you more than life itself. You are my world!

Week 14-July 20-July 28th-Hi baby! This week we discovered your first freckle! It is on your forehead right at your hairline. You have begun crying right before you go to sleep as if protesting the injustice of having to miss out on the wakeful experience. You are growing everyday! It is hard to remember how teensy you were when we first met. Your Atlanta grandparents came to visit us and they just oohed and aahed over you. They loved to watch you sleep and to hold you in their arms. You bring hope and joy to so many people, it is really incredible. Love you!